Flip Flop Nation

We have turned into a flip flop wearing country. When did this happen? When I was a kid we called them “beach walkers”, meaning, they were beach wear. My Dad called them “go aheads” because he contended (and still does) you cannot walk backwards in them. Anyway, they were pool or beach wear.

Nowadays, people seem to think it’s okay to wear them everywhere. Church, a funeral, the White House, for crying out loud. In 2005 Northwestern University’s champion lacrosse team was invited to the White House. These young women were photographed with President Bush and most of them were wearing flip flops. C’mon people, have some respect. Okay, I know a lot of people have no respect for W, but have some respect for the office and the building.

When I was in high school, there was a popular flip flop that was Japanese-style. The top part looked like a tatami mat and the straps and trim were of a velvet like material. Popular colors for the trim were navy and burgundy. I’m ashamed to say we called them “Jap Flaps”. In my defense, it was the 70s and we were not so PC as we are now, and even my Japanese-American friends called them that.

I think flip flops should stay with kids and teenagers or at the beach or pool. Some people should just not be allowed to wear them (or any sandal) in public. I have seen some gnarly feet in sandals and I think it’s gross. Jagged, long, dirty nails – cracked, dirty heels. Get a pedicure – try some pumice. Put some shoes on for God’s sake. Who the hell wants to look at that?

Maybe I am not one to throw stones. Laura is appalled that I have never had a pedicure. I just don’t like anyone touching my feet. I used to think my feet were ugly, but I guess they are passable. They are clean, don’t smell and I pumice and clip my nails. God, I can’t believe I’m writing about this.

I saw a woman last week in flip flops. She was well dressed and had taken the time and expense to have a pedicure. But, GOD she had the ugliest feet. Here were her perfectly painted nails in fire engine red on these gnarly, misshapen, ugly feet. The red polish was screaming "look at me!" Maybe a subtle pink would've been better.

Please, America. Put some shoes on.