The Dame

Pat and I ventured up to San Francisco last night to take in a show - Dame Edna. If you have not seen her, I recommend it. She was a hoot. We left the house at three, as the matinee started at five. San Francisco was truly gorgeous - in her full glory. I love this city to our north. It is a beautiful place to visit. Yesterday was so clear we could see for miles. I found myself wishing we had spent the entire day in the city and not worked on mundane stuff like laundry and household chores. But hey, we need clean clothes, sheets and towels.
All the way across the bay, Oakland was crystal clear and the SF skyline was breathtaking. The Post Street Theater is at Union Square, usually a shopping destination for me, but I digress. The theater is a small, intimate one, which was perfect for this type of show. (I think I was there over 20 years ago where I met then Crown Prince Harald of Norway). We had great seats - not close enough for us to be picked on by Edna, but close enough to have great enjoyment of the show. After the show we started our walk back the to parking garage. Union Square was in fine form. It was all decorated with lights and Christmas decorations. It was breathtakingly beautiful. We ate some appetizers at Fog City Diner and headed home. The crab cakes were divine. I checked out my Fog City Diner cookbook when we got home and found the recipe. It's a bit large for our family - starting with two pounds of crab! I'll have to figure out how to cut it down, but they are the best I've had. Better than mine, even.

Christmas Dog

I realized my previous few posts were rants about this and that so decided to try to be more positive. This is our Lucy, who is probably the most spoiled dog on earth. On Christmas Day we were playing the game Apples to Apples, which is a fun game for a group. After chasing her new frisbee for a while, Lucy joined the game by going from lap to lap. Here she is after she fell asleep on Laura's lap - face on the dining room table - before Christmas dinner.

Caveat Emptor

I don't know what I was thinking today, but I went to the mall. Yeah, to Valley Fair on the 26th of December. I didn't really NEED anything, but heard there were great deals to be had, so ended up parking three blocks away and walked. Man, there were so many people there, it was ridiculous.
There was a jacket I had looked at a couple of weeks ago at a small boutique shop. I thought maybe it was on sale, and I could afford it at a discount. When I entered the store the sales guy told me that stuff was marked down 25%. Nice. I figured I would snag the jacket. Yeah, it was on sale, but they jacked up the "previous" price by about $300, so the "sale" price was the same price as when I tried it on before. What the hell? I called Pat and asked him how much it was before - I thought maybe I had forgotten. Nope. He confirmed the price I thought it was. I don't think I'll shop there again. What a crappy, unscrupulous way to do business!

On a happier note, I met Kristen and Laura there and we spent some fun time together. I didn't end up getting anything, but Laura got a killer deal on some cute shoes - buy a pair and get a pair free. Also, Kristen exchanged some "ugly pajamas" for some much needed bras.

I had a hankerin' for some spicy lamb burgers that I have a great recipe for. I left the mall and went to my favorite upscale grocery store. After I had all of the ingredients for the meal in my cart, I went to the meat counter. The butcher informed me they were out of ground lamb. Crap! Now what? I went around the store putting back pita bread, garbanzo beans and all of the other stuff I had and wondered what the heck to cook for dinner. I decided on Veal Scallopine and got all of THOSE ingredients.

Man, what a day. I am beat from all of this shopping crap. I am done. Done except for cooking a great dinner. I hope both of my readers had a better 26th. Hopefully, you were smart and stayed home and did something more productive like do laundry or take out the trash.

Pig update

The tenants we had on that side of the duplex were a single mom and her two kids. They have been there for some time - four years, maybe? We have met her - she's a college professor, articulate, clean, etc. I just couldn't connect the dots as to why she would leave the place in such a mess when she left. It simply did not make sense.

I found out yesterday, what Paul Harvey would call "The rest of the story". When her son turned 18, they put him on the lease, also. She apparently moved out some time ago and Junior was supposed to move out all the stuff. HE'S the one who left all the crap, which totally makes sense now. She called the property manager to ask about her deposit - well..... she's not gonna get much of it back.... maybe a couple hundred bucks. She is angry (at her son) and embarrassed. I feel sorry for her, but he's not my kid and we still had to pay big bucks to get the joint rentable.

Pigs

I have decided that calling someone a pig is probably an insult to the four legged porcine.
We own a duplex in Sacramento, which is just far enough away that I can't manage it myself, so we have a property manager. We recently had a tenant move out and had to do a quick turn around for a new tenant who moved in two weeks later. The turn around time was quick, but we're thankful for a very short vacancy period.
Pat was driving through Sac a couple of weeks ago and stopped by to look at the place to give me a report. He said the place was unbelievable. They left all manner of crap in the house, yard and garage. Including furniture in the driveway.
I sort of thought he was exaggerating until I got the 165 pictures the PM took. Oh my gosh! What slobs! There was clothing, furniture, games, cigarette butts, food and I don't know what else left behind. The cobwebs were so thick on the walls it looked like Herman Munster's house. How can people live like that?

Pat's brother, Ray, is between jobs at the moment and he volunteered to rehab the place for us. He lives in Grass Valley, so it's only about an hour away for him. He needs the work and we knew he'd do a great job. Plus we'd rather pay the dough to family than a stranger who in all likelihood would overcharge us.
It took Ray EIGHT HOURS to clean up all the junk and haul it to the dump. I have the weighmaster's receipt - 1100 POUNDS of crap he hauled out of there. Oh, she also left behind two cats, which Ray took to the animal shelter. Nice lady, NOT. It also took quite a bit of time for him to clean the cobwebs out so he could paint. Oh, and two bedrooms needed three coats of paint due to purple walls.
Ray did a killer job on the place and he is our go-to guy from now on. Our new tenants moved in on Friday and we hope they will be happy and stay a good long time.
I learned a lesson here. I am always lecturing my property management clients that it's an investment - a business, and don't get all tweaked when tenants do stupid stuff to your property. I am upset that this woman had so little regard for our property that she left it in such a shambles. I guess this will make me more empathetic to my clients. Now I know how it feels. Not good at all.

Ugly Cars

I saw today, what I think is probably the 2nd ugliest car on the road. What could it be? A Jaguar Station Wagon - complete with hood ornament. Argh. Jaguar makes sleek, good looking cars. Who on earth would want to buy this beast at 35 to 40 thousand dollars. I guess someone who lives near me.
What I believe is THE ugliest car on the road is the Pontiac Aztec. It is hideous. I have heard it described as what looks like a high school shop project. The students were given the project to start on either end and make it connect in the middle. Another description of a green model likened it to a toad - then the reviewer decided that was an insult to a toad.
While these may be very fine automobiles, I just have one question for the design engineers. What were you thinking?

My Twin, Don

At the request of certain family members, I am now posting what may be the most unflattering picture ever taken of me. For the record, I love this pic.

We camp every Labor Day Weekend at our Sons of Norway District Camp, Camp Norge. The Kelly/Hulberg clan has now merged with the Slama clan and there can be over 30 of us just in the three generations of our group. Don, pictured with me, is the Patriarch of the Slama clan. I've known the Slamas for close to 40 years from our association at our Sons of Norway lodge.

A couple of years ago I rolled out of our tent with my glasses on and hair sticking straight up. Of course the collective group of Kelly/Hulberg/Slama found this uproariously funny and proceeded to rib me about my appearance no end.

About 20 minutes later Don rolled out of his motor home sporting the identical look I had. Of course this made it even funnier and his daughter Becky took this picture, all the while threatening to send it to the Viking. I told her go ahead and do it - either she never sent it in or the smart people at Viking rejected it. Probably the latter.

That Tween Season

We survived Thanksgiving and it was lovely. It is, after all, my favorite holiday. There's nothing better than preparing a glorious meal for your loved ones and sitting down together, eating all that yummy stuff and giving thanks for all that we have. Even in this crappy economy we have much to be thankful for - we are all healthy, the kids are all on track, Pat has a bullet-proof job and my property management business is growing. Thank you.
There is a season for me between Thanksgiving and Christmas and it's LUTEFISK. Yeah, I love the stuff that is so dreaded by other Norwegian Americans. Our Sons of Norway lodge puts on a two day feast, serving almost a ton of fish, 375 lbs of meatballs and all of the other side dishes to go along with them. This year will be my 35th year serving at our dinner. Wow, am I getting old!
I just can't seem to get into the swing of Christmas until I've ingested my fill of Lutefisk.
I'll close with a blurb from a lodge newsletter I recieved - from Redding, CA. I thought it was pretty funny and for those of you who don't "get" Lutefisk, you may find it amusing.
It goes:
If you're like me, just trying to "pass", I found this little test on the internet you can do to see whether you are ready for your first taste of lutefisk. You will need a bottle of aquavit, a slice of lemon, a cracker, a dish towel, ketchup, a piece of lettuce, some caviar and a kit kat bar.
1. Take a shot of aquavit.
2. Take two (they're small)
3. Put a bit of caviar on a bit of lettuce.
4. Put the lettuce on a cracker.
5. Squeeze some lemon juice on the caviar.
6. Pour some ketchup on the kit kat bar.
7. Tie a dish towel around your eyes.
If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a kit kat bar while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk. Return to step one.

Voicemail

Voicemail is a great tool and I love it, but some people need to learn to use it. I can't tell you the number of times I get a message from someone where they say "Hi, this is so and so, and I'm calling about the house for rent...." they drone on and on and then when they get to the phone number, they rattle it off so fast, I have to replay the message several times to get it right. Please folks, YOU know your phone number, I do not. Slow down and repeat it.
Another peeve is people who have their radio on in their cars when they are leaving a message. Your brain can tune out the radio, your phone speaker cannot. Most of the time it's so garbled I only get half of the message.
My other peeve is when people call and don't tell me what they want. "Hi, this is so and so, can you please call me?". About what? If you give me a clue I can do some research and have a decent answer when I call you back. Instead of calling you and then having to call you back again.
I had a weird voicemail exchange over the weekend. I got a call that was left at 6:30 AM on Sunday. This woman says "My name is Agnes, it's 6:30 on Sunday morning. I know you'll be working today and EXPECT you to call me right away about a house" and left her number. What? She sounded angry and demanding. I have found the best way to deal with these type of folk is to be super nice - I will not let some A hole drag me down.
So I call her back and leave her a message "Hi Agnes, this is Janie Kelly from Keller Williams Realty. I am currently out of the office, but will be in later. Please let me know how I can help you. You can leave me a message at blah, blah, blah and I'd be happy to help you out".
Then she really started getting ugly. Next message from her says "This is Agnes - you are a liar - you said you were in the office and when I called, you are not there. I expect you to call me right away about a transaction you had in November. Call me at blah, blah, blah" Now I'm thinking she's just a nut job.
I don't give out my cell phone to every person on the planet, but I was tired of playing phone tag with this witch. I seriously had no idea who she was or what she wanted. I think I would remember someone if I had a transaction with them in the past 23 days. So I call and get no answer, TWICE. I get her voicemail again and tell her that I think she's confusing me with one of the other 130 agents in my office, because I don't recall having a transaction with her in the past month. If she really needs to talk to Janie Kelly, call my cell phone at....
Never heard from her again. What a whack job.

South Park, I mean Grass Valley

We left Redding and headed to Grass Valley where we celebrated an early Thankgiving with the Kelly Clan. Kristen and Laura were able to join us. Robin (bless her) did all of the cooking and cleaning up, so I was off the hook, for a change. There were about 15 of us there and the decible level got quite high. At the height of the cacophany I turned to my brother-in-law, Ray and said, "your poor Dad, this noise must be killing him with his hearing aids". Ray said "he turned them off". I had to admit I was jealous.
We got back to San Jo around 1:30 and picked up Lucy from my folks' house. They enjoyed her stellar company and I'm sure are lonely tonight.
All in all it was a great trip. We saw some new sights and visited with a lot of people. Now it's back to work tomorrow and then another round of turkey this week.

Redding

Pat has a friend from Jr. High and High School who lives just north of Redding, CA. They have not seen each other in about 25 years, but have kept in touch via e-mail and Christmas cards.
John said he was looking forward to seeing us and that we were welcome to stay at his house. John's house is only five years old, designed for him and at the top of a mountain with a killer view of Lake Shasta. This is his pool and lake at sunset. I took about a million sunset pictures, but don't want to bore you all. (both of you?)
John and his girlfriend, Daphne, made a great salmon dinner and we had a nice visit. We really enjoyed their company and hope to get together with them soon.
This is Mount Shasta, which is only a couple hundred feet shorter than the tallest mountain in CA. It's 14,000 something feet tall and quite a sight to see.

Day... whatever

We awoke to a real Seattle rainstorm and checked out and headed south. When we were approaching Eugene, we figured that would be the logical place to stay for the night. I texted Brandon and asked if they were up for houseguests another night and how about pizza? They were delighted to see us. I think Josselyn is a bit homesick and liked having us another night. I was able to do some laundry and we split the next morning for Redding, CA.
We stopped in Portland and hit the factory outlets for some wardrobe updating. Pat got some nice duds and I'm happy to have some jeans that fit and are not falling apart at the seams.

Seattle

We got to Seattle around 6:30 that night and checked into our hotel. While in Eugene, I did some research and decided on the Marqueen Hotel, which is in the Queen Anne district. It was built in 1918 and has an interesting history, but the best part was that it was only four blocks from daughter Allyson, and Tom's apartment.
Ally had an evening event that Charles Schwab (her employer) was putting on. Pat and I walked across the street to Peso's and had a cocktail. We had a late lunch, so opted for appetizers and they were great. Ally joined us later and we walked her home to her apartment. She and Tom have nice one bedroom apartment in the Queen Anne District. She walks or takes the bus everywhere and is thinking of selling her car, which is parked at the curb.
The next day Pat and I took the bus to Pike Place Market and looked around while Ally was at work. She got off at noon and met us at our hotel and we walked four or five blocks the other direction to Seattle Center, where the Space Needle is. We had a clear 55 degree day, so it was nice to walk around. We all enjoyed the Space Needle (even though Ally isn't fond of heights) and had a great day. Allyson just passed her series 7 test, which allows her to buy and sell stocks. From the top of the Space Needle she pointed out a building and said, "I want to work there as a hedge fund manager". We're confident she'll do it.
After Tom got off work, Pat and I walked back to their apartment and we took them to a restaurant called Palisades. Again, we had a great dinner - seafood this time. After our dinner, they dumped us at our hotel and we bid them goodbye.

Road trip, next day... I stopped counting the days

We bid B & J adieu after breakfast and headed toward Portland, OR. Pat has a friend who owns a Bed and Breakfast just south of town.
Bud and his partner have turned Ainsworth House into an event center and no longer use the home as a B & B. The house was built around 1850 and has been meticulously maintained and restored. They now have various events there such as weddings, charity events and murder mystery dinners.
After lunch we continued our journey and got to Seattle around 6:30 pm.

Road Trip, Day 2

We left Ashland around 9 and got to Eugene, OR around noon. Son Brandon and his girlfriend, Josselyn live about 14 miles west of Eugene. They moved there in June. Brandon is a mechanic for Volvo and Josselyn is currently waiting tables at a local diner. They have a nice home - 2 bedroom unit in a brand new four plex.
We had a wonderful dinner that night at a local winery called King Estate Winery. It was one of the best meals I've ever had and not too expensive, either. This pic is Brandon, Pat and Josselyn at dinner that night.
The next day they both had off work, so we went out exploring Eugene. We found a nice bike/walking path next to the Willamette River not far from the University of Oregon. It was 65 and clear that day, so we took about a 2 mile walk around the river, then decided to check out the winery in daylight.

It was at the top of a hill with a gorgeous view of the Willamette Valley. We tasted some wine, enjoyed the view and headed back to B & J's house to make dinner. It was great to visit with them and I think they enjoyed our company.

Road Trip, Part I

Pat and I returned to San Jose today after a nine day, 2033 mile road trip. It was a lot of fun and I'll try to chronicle it here, after the fact, cuz I didn't always have internet access.

Day 1, we left SJ around 1pm, as I had a bunch of loose ends to tie up before we could leave. We got to Ashland, Octobernd 7pm, had some mediocre Mexican food and settled in for the night. Ashland is the home of The Shakespeare Festival from something like April through October. We didn't have time to take in a play anyway.

We had breakfast the next morning at the hotel, which was kind of dejavuish, because a year or so ago I stayed at a hotel that looked just like it in Yuma, AZ

more on next post......

Escape!

We have a galley-style kitchen and that has become what we call "doggie jail". We have a baby gate across it and Lucy stays there during the day while we are gone. The most she is alone has increased to about six or seven hours and she is fine. She has her bed and water - all she does is sleep all day, anyway.
Last Wednesday I came home to find the gate locked and her upstairs in our bed! I guess Mom and Dad's bed is more comfy than her own bed.
She spent a few nights at my folks when I went to Minneapolis this weekend, so I sort of forgot about it. Today I went back to work and left her in doggie jail at around nine this morning.
I got home around 4:30 and I couldn't find her. I was calling her name and then found her up at the top of the stairs, stretching and yawning. It was like she was saying "um, hai Mom, your bed was bigger and nicer than mine"
I guess I'll just leave her loose in the house now. She is reliable in that she doesn't "go" in the house. If she escapes from the kitchen she won't have any water. Sheesh, my dog has out-smarted me.

Musings while on the bike trail

I took a 12 1/2 mile spin on the Los Gatos Creek Trail this morning. It was great. I had a few thoughts while on my ride.....

If I call out to you "on your left" that means I am passing you on your left and request you move over a bit to the right. You don't need to freak out and jump, just move over a bit. Most people are very nice and say "thanks" and wave.

In my opinion, if you are on the trail with your headphones on, you are taking your life into your hands. You could get run over, mugged or worse. There HAVE been assaults on that trail. So why the hell would you run alone, at night, with headphones on? Yeah, it's a free country and you should be allowed to do that without getting hurt, but it doesn't seem like a very smart thing to do. Keep your wits about you and keep safe.

Pick up after your dog. 'Nuff said.

If you and your friends are strolling, four abreast and I call out "on your left" you don't need to give me the stink eye as I pass. You and your chubby friends are not entitled to hog the entire trail - it's there for all of us to use.

If you and your girlfriend are walking side by side with strollers, it's not enough if you move over two inches. There's still not enough room and I really don't want to crash into you. Please go single file for the five seconds it will take me to pass you.

If you are on a bike faster than me, please let me know when you are passing. It's scary to have someone whiz by you. I don't want to crash into you, either.

Wear a helmet. See previous post. I swear, I am going to become this crotchety old broad on the trail yelling out "where's your helmet?"

Ditch the cell phone... ditto the coffee. I don't get it and I feel bad about "dissing" my fellow women, but this seems to be a girl thing. You are strolling or walking on a nice bike trail for exercise - do you really need to be yapping into your cell phone? And what's the deal with the coffee? People can't seem to walk across the street or through a grocery store, for that matter, without sucking on a cup of Starbuck's.

Okay enough ranting. For now.... :)

Ride on!

I mentioned Pat and I have been doing more bike riding lately. This pic was taken last month at Berry Creek Falls which is somewhere in Big Basin State Park. We parked at Waddell Beach and rode mostly uphill and through the redwood forest. We locked up our bikes and hiked up to the falls, had lunch, hiked back down and rode out. All together it was about 12 miles on the bikes and 1.2 mile hike - a total of 2 1/2 hours. It was a great day - exercise, fresh air and nature.
We've been going at least twice a week any where from an hour to two and a half. I am loving the riding - getting addicted, even. I am developing an odd farmer tan, though.
Pat got me a speedometer/odometer computer thingy for my bike and I found out today that our Los Gatos Creek ride we take is not 10 miles, but 11.4. In the past four weeks I've ridden about 110 miles. It doesn't sound like that much, but a lot of it has been quite hilly. I've shed some weight and I can feel the difference in my legs. Now if only the weather will hold up.....

Helmet update

I read in the paper today that the mother of the little girl who was killed riding her bike is suing the school district. Hello? Who didn't buy her kid a helmet? I'm sorry for this tragedy, but the school district is not to blame. I don't understand people - a helmet costs around 30 bucks.

Shopping woes

I have had a hard time shopping lately. Mainly because my main shopping buddy, Laura, is away at school. I want to stay up to date looking, but don't want to look like a middle aged woman trying to look like a teenager - you've seen 'em. They look dumb. Laura is always the voice of reason for me, telling me "um, no" or "yeah, Mom, you can totally rock that"
I spent an afternoon yesterday at the mall and could not find a thing. I need new shoes - brown and black dress shoes. Apparently there is a big demand for Sister Mary Margaret shoes and hooker shoes. The look I am seeking is somewhere in between the two extremes. Sheesh, aren't there a lot of professional women who want a nice heel that doesn't look like you are seeking your next John?
I moseyed up the peninsula today to Stanford Shopping Center in search of shoes. I did find (what I thought) was a nice suit, but didn't have my Wa for critique. I took a pic of myself in the dressing room on my phone and sent it to Wa. She declared it "cute", so I bought it. Yeah, it's a lame way to shop with your daughter, but it worked. So I have a new suit that's been given the Wa seal of approval.
Now on to shoes..... I DID find some suitable shoes. Not too high heel, normal looking pump... the only problem is they were a bit pricey. Coach, Anne Klein and someone else had some really cute shoes. Only problem is they didn't fit into the family budget. These shoes were 100 bucks more than my hand made bunad shoes, which are the most expensive shoes I've ever purchased. I can't justify spending $700 on a couple pair of shoes right now. (Pat would have a stroke). Maybe if I just double ended a 2 million dollar pad at 6%.
I finally found some suitable shoes, but man, it's been a chore. Why does this have to be such a pain? When are the designers and purchasing people going to realize that we want a decent looking shoe at a decent price?

Wear a helmet!

Pat and I have been doing more bike riding in the past few weeks. We enjoy getting outside to exercise and have found some really cool bike trails very close to our home.
Since we've been doing this I have found what I find to be a very disturbing trend. I have noticed families out and about on their bikes. Mom and kids are wearing helmets, but Dad is not.
I actually had a conversation with our son-in-law, Danny about this. Robin, Gavin and Aidan all wear helmets and he doesn't. I asked him if he was too cool for a helmet - yup, too cool. I asked him if he though his head was harder than every one else's - yup. I also asked about life insurance, but I digress.
This is a worry, not only for our own grandkids, but for kids in general. This sets a horrible example for the kids. When they are riding away from their parents, to school for example, as soon as they get around the corner, they'll remove their helmets to be cool like dad.
A 12 year old girl was killed in our community on the last day of school this year. She was riding home from school without a helmet, because her family was "saving for one". This poor child was hit by a car a block from school and died. Just because she didn't have a helmet on.
I don't care how cool Dad thinks he is. He's not gonna look too cool when he's a drooling brain injury patient.

Too Funny

see more puppies

I just realized you can't see the entire caption. It says "Can we haz new witch? Ourz melted!"

This picture just cracks me up. No, that's not Lucy on the left, but it sure looks like her. Why are Bostons in Flying Monkey suits funny? Dunno, but they are. Maybe it's the ears? I found this on my new favorite website which Kristen showed me. Much stuff to suck up your time and make you chuckle.

Toby's 21!

Yes, I know Kristen turned 21 last month. Due to work and travel conflicts we haven't been able to celebrate her special day. We were finally able to have her party last night. She requested the doll cake, which was pretty funny.
When the girls were little I made them all kinds of cakes for their birthdays. There was a troll, carosel horse, doll, dinosaur (for my nephew, Marcus), caterpiller, Barney (during Laura's dreaded Barney phase), etc, etc.
I haven't decorated a cake in years and it shows. I'm glad Kristen liked it, but I think she liked the margaritas we had with dinner better.

Can they do that?

A friend of mine, who is also a Real Estate Broker, was ranting the other day about our state's tax board. It seems that the Franchise Tax Board reported to the fine city in which we reside, that she filed a Schedule C on her tax returns for some number of years. The city is trying to extract business tax revenue when it has already been paid by the Realtor's employing broker. She called the city and told them this and they removed her from the system - until next time they run the gill net through the self-employed who live here. In her case, as in mine, our offices are in different cities, but our brokers still pay the tax to SJ. Guess who got a letter in the mail over the weekend? Yup. I called them this morning and was put on hold so long I got frustrated and hung up.
Susan was angry that the state shared her tax return with the city and I'm not too happy about it, either. Now I'm wondering... can they do that?

Empty Nest!

I came home to an empty nest. Well, not totally empty, as Kristen doesn't go back to Santa Cruz for a couple of weeks, but my baby flew the coop while I was gone. It was unfortunate timing, but I had to be in San Diego the week she moved into her dorm. This is the picture Laura drew on the white board in our kitchen while I was gone.
My friend Sandy was asking about the girls while I was there - what they were up to, etc. I told him Wa was moving into the dorm on Friday and he really hit the nail on the head. He said "and Mom is upset she won't be there to help Laura move". Bingo - I started crying a bit. This is the transition of life and I'm so happy for Laura and so proud of her. I'm just going to miss her. Luckily for me she's only a couple of hours away - IF she decides to come home to visit and get some of mom's home cooking. Fly away baby.... just not too far.

Int'l Convention 2008

I had a wonderful time at our Sons of Norway International Convention. With me here in this pic is my friend, Lully, from Oslo. We have been friends for 12 years, first meeting at convention. We used to only see each other every two years, but her husband Ole was elected President of District 8 the same time I was elected in District Six, so we get to see each other twice a year now, which is great.
Everyone at the convention was so nice, so complimentary. I chaired the Resolutions Committee and several people approached me at the banquet saying that our committee did the best job and were the best prepared. Thanks to President Ted for assigning me such great committee members.
I drove to San Diego, which was nine hours down, thanks to traffic in LA and 8 1/2 home. I am still tired, but have the glow of doing good things for Sons of Norway and seeing old friends and meeting new ones. I really had a great time, despite seeming like I was going in eight different directions all the time.

Suburban Farmer

Here are 20 pounds of home grown tomatoes. Most of you know we live in a condo, so how did we aquire these beauties? My folks live about two miles from us, and in recent years have become unable to do the whole garden thing, despite plenty of garden space. We have worked out a great arrangement. I go over and rototill, put a bunch of steer manure in and Mom and I pick out the plants and plant them. She waters and weeds and we all share the wonderful produce we get.
Despite Daddy's protest of me picking all of those green tomatoes, all 20 pounds of these are dead ripe. The green ones are an heirloom variety called Aunt Ruby's German, which I highly recommend. They are delicious!
Since I am leaving tomorrow for Sons of Norway's International Convention, I had to do something with all of these beautiful tomatoes. I cook them up, remove the skins and seeds and freeze them for winter use. The green ones are a lot more juicy, so they will go into soup this winter. The red ones (ace) will probably become spaghetti sauce. as they have more pulp.
My ancestors were farmers and I guess I still have some of those genes in me. I'm not much of a gardener, but is is very satisfying to dig in the dirt with your own hands (or back, with the rototiller) and have organic, home-grown goodies to satisfy the tummies.

Nicknames

By the way, for those of you reading this, my family is big on nicknames. Any reference to Toby or Tobes is Kristen, my eldest daughter who will be 21 in two days. (God, it seems like yesterday that she was born - all big and blue!). Wa is Laura, who turned 18 in July. Together they call themselves Wobes. They are very close and I'm very happy for that.
I started calling Kristen Toby when she was about six weeks old. Sappy story, which I won't go into, but she has been Toby in our family forever.
Wa came about when they were both in high school. Kristen reverted to when she was three and Laura was born and she called her Wawa. One of her friends, asked Kristen, "Where's the Wa?" We all thought it was funny and we have called her Wa or "The Wa" ever since"
So that's Toby and Wa.
Banna and Pop Pop are my parents - so named by the oldest grandchild, my nephew Marcus. That was his version of Grandma and Grandpa and all of the grandkids and us call them Banna and Pop Pop.
As they say in Norwegian, kjæje barn har mange navn. It means a beloved child has many names. They are all beloved.

Don't hate on attorneys!

Everyone LOVES to hate on Lawyers. Don't do it, as you may need one some day. I never thought I would need one, but it turns out I did.

I have found myself in the unfortunate position of needing to hire a lawyer to defend myself against a nutty woman about a fence issue. I won't bore you all with the details, but I had an ugly problem with a fence re-build on a property I manage. Turns out the rear neighbor is a total whack job. Who knew?

This woman got out of line with her demands, to the point where I felt I was over my head.
I then consulted with one of the best real estate attorneys in our town. Yeah, it cost me a few hundred bucks, but he gave me GREAT advice and the crazy woman backed down.

We will be putting up the fence next week ( I hope) and this will be behind me. I have learned a thing or two during this episode and hope I don't need to consult my attorney in the future. If I do, I know Dave will be there. He really helped me out.

Yay, Lawyers!

Kids are funny!

Pat got a new truck a couple of months ago. He got a Toyota - strippo model, which is what he wanted and he loves it. His only requirements were A/C and a CD player.
His daughter, Robin, was in the area this week, as she was doing an audit in Santa Cruz - about 30 miles away. Pat had the day off yesterday and hung out with grandson, Aidan, who will be four next week.
They were going for a ride and Pat was putting Aidan in the truck. Aidan pointed to the window crank and said "Grandpa, what's that?". Too funny!

Blended names

Why oh why do the people who write for these rag magazines insist on blending celebrity couple names? Brangelina, Johnnifer, TomKat, etc. It wasn't cute or clever when they first started doing it and it's now downright nauseating.
Can you imagine if they did that in the 50s and 60s? Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton would be "Lick". Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher would be "Deddie". Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall would be "Humpen". At least that's funny AND clever.
Enough already.

SUCH a spaz

We have a lovely bike trail just behind our condo complex. It's paved and next to a creek and lots of people use it for walking, biking, jogging, etc. From our house to Vasona County Park and back, it's just about 10 miles, which is a nice ride.
I decided to ride this morning instead of going to the gym. All was well. The weather was cool and a bit overcast when I left and it was a great morning for a bike ride.
At exactly the turn around point (meaning the farthest distance from my house) I had a little incident. I went through part of the county park and started to turn around on the road (which NEVER has any cars on it) and looked to my left just as I was about to turn. Wow. There was a truck coming right at me! I braked hard and skidded through the dirt and gravel and fell. I figured that was better than getting hit by a truck. Mr. Truck driver didn't even stop to ask if I was okay. Thank you very much. Not.
Oh yes, I always wear a helmet.
Long story short.... I feel like a dork. I banged up my knee pretty badly. It was bleeding and sore, but what could I do except get back on my steed and head for home. By the time I got home I had bled down to my shin. I actually took a picture of it, but Kristen deemed it too gross to post here.
So now I'm a middle aged woman with a boo boo on her knee because she fell off her bike. What a dork. Guess I won't be wearing a skirt any time soon.

Walkin'

I walked to work and back again today. I realize my goal of three times per week has not been met and was chided by a friend of mine. He threatened to audit my blog for accuracy. Sheesh, that's kind of harsh.
Then I got an e-mail from another friend who gently said "Keep up the walking".
Ouch, man. I was prepared to go to the gym today, but by the time I got done taking care of stuff around here it was already 9. So I decided to walk.
I still need more sunscreen. You see, most of my walk to work is south and home is north, so that means the left side of my face and neck take a beating from the sun. I already have a weird patch of skin on the left side of my neck due to a bad burn while skiing a few years ago. I may be blogging about skin cancer on my neck in a few years. Argh. I may have to start wearing a hat or something. SPF 40?
I have no excuses, even though a week at convention and 100+ degree heat are legit. I just need to make a more diligent effort and I will.

Just Drive!

California has a new law on the books. Starting today, drivers over 18 years old must use a hands free device while talking on a cell phone and driving. Drivers under 18 cannot talk on the phone at all while driving.
I see the intent of this new law, but I'm really skepical whether it will produce the desired results. People do a lot of stupid stuff while they are driving. These are things I have seen and frankly, most of them should be done in the privacy of one's own bathroom. Applying makeup is pretty common, but I saw a woman last week plucking her eyebrows in her car. Picking one's nose is also pretty common - do these people think there is a cloak of invisibility around them? Who the hell would pick their nose in public? Yuck! I saw a guy shaving the tops of his ears with a disposable razor once. That was weird.
Some other common offenses are eating or reading - map or newspaper. Yelling at your kids is pretty distracting, as is having Fido on your lap. Texting while driving is still legal, which I find mind boggling.
What is so important that a phone call cannot wait a few minutes? Do you have a patient on the table with his chest cracked open, waiting for an organ donation? Probably not. Cars weigh thousands of pounds and with increased traffic and crappy drivers, we all need to pay more attention to the task at hand.
Hang up and just drive.

Convention survival

I was re-elected President of District Six, Sons of Norway over the weekend. Our District has about 7000 members in 55 lodges in the five southwest states. I had no idea presiding over a District Lodge meeting would be so exhausting.

The host lodge set me up in the most beautiful hotel suite I've ever seen - it was just gorgeous. Laura and I delivered the libations for the hospitality on Sunday. I checked in on Monday and had meetings with my Board on Tuesday and Wednesday. Monday and Tuesday evenings entailed hosting cocktail parties.

I won't bore you all with the details, but there was a solid week of meetings and parties. Thursday, Friday and Saturday were devoted to District Lodge Meeting where I presided over 187 Delegates and Board Members.

This is where things got a bit scary. You see, I have felt over the past few years that our President had chosen less than stellar Parliamentarians. In my opinion, some have been weak, while others have been terrible. I put my thinking cap on a year ago and got a friend from the San Francisco lodge who is an attorney and so sharp. Yup, I thought, he's going to be the best Parliamentarian that District Six has ever seen. Imagine my shock when I got an e-mail from him the day before the big meetings started telling me he was stuck in a trial and couldn't come. Ack! Talk about panic.

After I caught my breath, I knew I'd be fine. Our International Director could help me out and I had the foresight to invite our CEO from Minneapolis, who was a great help, too.

It was a great week. Everyone was so nice to me and there was a lot of fun mixed in with the work. I did survive, but it was exhausting. After a good night sleep I'm ready to go back to work.

Gladdy update II

We got another pic of the Gladillac today. She is beautiful and Jason has wasted no time in spiffing her up. Reminder..... Look at the pic of us with the Christmas tree... that's what she looked like 19 days ago when she rolled out of our driveway on a trailer. Jason added a white vinyl top in the past few days.
I think Jason has done a great job. He is not putting the chrome strips back on the sides, as one was damaged.
I can't wait to see what he does to her interior - as it was pretty tired. Stay tuned for more updates.

Gladdy Update

We indeed, sold the Gladillac to a good home. Two days after Jason drove to Fresno with her, we got an e-mail from him with a lot of pictures. He spent all day Monday working on her - taking off the chrome, beat up vinyl top, etc.
Yesterday we got a bunch of new pictures. He has taken care of all of the rust that was under the top and painted her. The subject line on his e-mail read "Gladillac After Paint". He calls her Gladillac!
I think she looks great and am looking forward to seeing her restoration in process.

'Bye Gladys

Aunt Gladys was actually my Mom's cousin and as close to a sister as Mom ever had. I absolutely adored her. She was by far my favorite Aunt. She was a small, pert woman who had a penchant for huge Cadillacs. The last car she owned was a 1966 Coupe De Ville, gold with a vinyl top. When Aunt Gladys passed away in 2003, my cousin, Susanna graciously gave me the car. We called her "The Gladillac" or "Gladys". This 18 1/2 foot beast took up more than her share of the garage and Pat's new car was sent to the street.
We didn't drive her much, but she was always our transportation up to the Santa Cruz Mountains to get our Christmas tree. We could fit a 9' tree in the trunk with very little hanging out the back.

Gladys was not very pretty, as her vinyl top was crumbling and paint was faded, but the engine always started right up and she ran strong.
Our intention was to restore her to her former glory, but we finally came to the conclusion that we didn't have the time or resources to do it. So, she went on Craigslist.
A guy named Jason called and was very excited. He is a freak for 66 Caddys and has a club of guys with the same passion. He plans to restore her and not use her for a parts car. I know she's not very pretty anymore, but she's not an organ donor.
So The Gladillac left us today on a flat bed trailer, heading for Fresno, where ironically, Aunt Gladys lived for many years. I said goodbye to her and cried as she left our driveway, which is kind of stupid I guess. I mean, it's only a car. But that car belonged to my beloved Aunt Gladys and I have been her guardian for the past five years. Jason said he'd keep in touch and send us updates on her rehabilitation. It's been a bittersweet day for me, seeing that car leave, but I know Aunt Gladys would be happy that The Gladillac has gone to a good home. She'll be pretty again some day.

More Walkin'

I walked back and forth to the office again today. Reading this sentence makes me realize the Norwegian saying for it - "frem og tilbakke" (forth and back) actually makes more sense. You have to walk forth before you walk back, but I digress.

I guessed the distance pretty accurately. It's 1.75 miles one way, so 3 1/2 miles round trip. Why on earth do I feel so good about not driving 3 1/2 miles today? It is such a short distance and doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I guess I'm just trying to make a difference and do my part, however small it may be. It does feel good and I suggest you try it.

I have learned a thing or two about walking to the office. I mentioned before, you need to be prepared. I was better prepared today.

Canvas tote bag. Check.
Sunscreen on face and neck. Check.
Sandwich for lunch. Check.
Files to work on. Check.

Looking in the mirror this evening, I realize I may need a stronger sunscreen. My face is pretty pink and I don't need the extra sun. Maybe a hat?

My legs are killing me. I do work out regularly, but this walking stuff apparently uses different muscles. I'll hang with it. I think I need to walk a little differently, as I am prone to shin splints and I feel them tonight.

I stopped by Whole Foods again to pick up stuff for dinner and this time I was prepared. I had my canvas tote bag and got a nickel off my groceries. Woo hoo!

My goal is three days per week to walk to work. We'll see how long this lasts. I can do it as long as the weather is at is has been - high 60s to low 70s. We'll see how this goes when it gets hot or starts raining.

Green Day

I decided to walk to work today - and back. I figured with the price of gas and the state of the environment, I'd give it a try. I usually do an hour of cardio a day anyway, so I would just skip the gym and walk.
I'm not sure how far it is, as I obviously take a different route when walking vs. driving. I figure it's probably 1.75 to two miles to walk. I'll check it out tomorrow.
What I found interesting is how much stuff I have missed while driving. I had no idea there were so many hair and nail salons on Bascom Avenue! Yeah, my hair salon is on that street, but I've been with my same hairdresser for 20+ years and have followed her wherever she goes, so I never paid attention. There's also a Russian Deli and Tea House and an psychic. I never saw these places before.
I talked to Pat around four and he asked if I wanted a ride home. NO. I am going to do this all the way.
I walked home, stopping at Whole Foods to get some lettuce for Chicken Caesar Salad for dinner. The clerk asked if I wanted a bag and I said, "No, thank you" and took my lettuce home in the clear produce bag. I'll use it later to pick up Lucy's poo. It will be recycled. I must have at least a half a dozen canvas tote bags. I'll bring one along next time.
When I walked through E Bay the lame security guard was giving me the stink eye. Sheesh, your employees walk through my neighborhood ALL the time, let me walk through yours. Yeah, I know technically, it's private property, but I was just walking through with my lettuce.
I liked the exercise I got, enjoyed the walk and time to think about stuff. I'll be doing this again. I'm thinking maybe a couple of times per week. Time will tell.
It does feel good to feel like you are doing something, however small it is. I found out today you can do something to help the environment, you just have to think about it a little bit.

Two Pieces of Evidence

This pic was taken the day Kristen came home from the hospital. Note bad hair. This was when the perm had started to grow out and was actually better than it was a few month prior to this. I have some pictures taken that May that were truly horrendous. (In fact, Kristen was laughing her butt off last night looking at them. Glad I can amuse my children). By August, when this was taken, some sense of normalcy (at least in the hair department) had started to come back. In my defense, I had just given birth to a 9 1/2 pound baby. No new mom should try to apologize for looking like crap after giving birth.

Flash forward 16 months..... Now THIS picture is the epitome of my point. Gawd. Look at that hair! It's huge! Too much makeup, long dagger nails. What the hell was I thinking? Hey, at least my bunad doesn't have shoulder pads, cuz just about everything else in the 80s did.

80s "Fashion"

The 80s were a bad fashion decade. The late 70s were all disco - shiny, polyester shirts and skin tight pants for the dudes. Just watch Saturday Night Fever and you'll see what I mean.
Then the 80s came along and we just went from bad to worse. Big hair, too much makeup and shoulder pads, for crying out loud. I'll have to see if I can dig up some old pix of myself. Ghastly. I mean, I was in my mid 20s. Why the hell did I think I needed all that big hair, makeup and long fake nails?
When I was pregnant with Kristen, I thought it would be a good idea to get a perm. I guess my body was getting so big I figured I'd poof out my hair for balance. Baaaad idea. Toward the end of the pregnancy, not only was I huge, but I had this mass of frizz on top of my head. Very attractive. Not.
When I got pregnant with Laura I told my hairdresser, I don't care how much I beg, plead or cajole you. I don't care how big I get or how crappy my hair looks, DO NOT GIVE ME A PERM! She agreed and I went though nine months of okay hair.
During said pregnancy a friend of mine was co-writing a book on labor and delivery. She needed some pictures. A couple of weeks ago she sent them back to me with a nice note (I guess she was cleaning house). A woman in labor does not look her best and I was certainly no exception to that rule. But... Pat looked at them and said "your hair looks nice". I guess the ban on perms worked.

I think I've Seen Everything....

First of all, Beans, forgive me. You said you were going to write about this, but I just can't help myself.
The City of Campbell has two major street festivals per year. The cajun-themed "Boogie on the Bayou" in May and Oktoberfest in, well, October. These are fun events with music, food, beer and wine and for the most part, crappy arts and crafts for sale. We usually go and eat, peruse the junk for sale and listen to the music. I usually end up running into people I know, either from the Chamber of Commerce or High School.
We wandered downtown on Saturday, which happened to be Syttende Mai (Norwegian Constitution Day). Since it turned out to be 100 degrees, I was really glad I was foregoing the requisite Norwegian stuff. I just could not see putting on a wool, ankle-length bunad, tights and long sleeved blouse. My shorts and flip flops were better attire for the heat.
In the promotional posters and ads for these festivals they ALWAYS say "no dogs allowed". Yup, every year people show up with Fido. This year was especially bad. Since it was so hot, I'm sure the little pooches ended up with hot feet.
There are always the guys who have a huge iguana or bird on their shoulders. This year there was a guy with a Moluccan Cockatoo. This type of guy always looks somewhat off. I can't put my finger on it, but I think they bring these exotic pets to get attention. Maybe that's the only way they can get it.
There have been a new breed of pet owners showing up lately. They have their dogs in a screened in stroller. Yes, they make strollers for dogs. You all know I adore Lucy, but I would not put her in a doggie stroller. That's just lame.
Saturday we encountered a WAY LAME pet owner. We saw a woman wearing a square back pack, which turned out to be a bird cage, and yes, she had her parakeet with her. I kid you not and have several witnesses to back me up.

Retail Peeve

Remember when retail clerks actually used to count change back to you? I think people don't know how to do it because the cash registers have been dumbed down so the clerks can't screw up their tills. Oh, also probably because hardly anyone pays cash anymore.

Let's see.... the amount owed is $3.46, amounted tendered is $10.00, and voila, the change owed is $6.54. The clerk then (almost without exception) tears off the receipt, places it in your open hand, then proceeds to DUMP a wad of bills and change into your hand, on top of the receipt. What the hell am I supposed to do with this mess?

Am I the only one out there? This drives me absolutely bananas. A) you don't know if you have the correct amount of change. B) the wad of bills are never 'faced' the same way. C) the coins and bill(s) are sliding off the receipt. I end up stepping aside, putting the receipt in the bag, counting the change, facing the bills and putting the change in my wallet. This process usually ends with the person behind me running me over. What did they do with their change and reciept?

If you really want to confuse a clerk, give them a dime or penny or two to even out the change. If you do it after they have entered the amount tendered, they will be baffled. I don't do this to be mean to simple people, I just do it to cut down on the change in my wallet. Honest.

Map vs. GPS

I am a map lover. When we went on vacations as a kid, I always had my nose glued to the map, plotting out the next town we'd come across. I have even been known to just peruse an atlas or other map just for the heck of it. Okay, maybe I'm a map nerd.

Being a Realtor and Property Manager, this love of maps has come in handy. I'm good at reading them and can generally find my way around very well. I'm also a good navigator, which works well when Pat and I go somewhere - he drives, I navigate.

I recently got a new car with GPS in it, which is pretty interesting. I had been driving a 1997 model car, so the GPS stuff is all new to me. It's really cool if you're in a different town than your own, and say, get a hankerin' for some Mexican food. Push a few buttons on your GPS and it tells you where the Mexican restaurants are. Pretty cool.

The thing that confounds me about GPS is that it's totally backwards from reading a map. Herein lies my discomfort. I had a Property Management appointment this afternoon on the south end of town. I walked out the door thinking, crap, I forgot to map it out. Then I remembered my new toy, GPS. I put the address in and it showed my destination, then started telling me where to go from my house. I find this sort of stressful - I mean - I actually left my house to an unknown destination and didn't know where I was going. That is not a comfortable feeling.

Of course, the GPS got me there. I guess I just have to have faith in it and relax. Sometimes it's hard being old-school in a modern world, but I'll get used to it.

A New Title

If you have been paying attention, you may have noticed I changed the title of my blog. I admit 'MJ's Blog' is really boring, but I had an evening alone when I started this and was uninspired. Thanks to my friend, Kristina, a fellow Norskie, who gave me a better title. Maybe it will inspire me to rant about something more interesting!

I am NOT a Terrorist!

I have been on that list for years. The one that the government watches because they suspect you are a terrorist and let me tell you, it's a pain in the ass. You are probably wondering how I got on this list - I'd sure like to know, too. I assume it's because I have a very common name. There is probably some broad named Mary Jane Kelly who was a member of the IRA or something. This bitch is making my life miserable.

Whenever I try to fly anywhere they take my driver's license and make disturbing faces and then take the phone and go around the corner so I can't hear them. Like I don't know they are calling some federal office somewhere and whispering about me. They act like I'm actually dangerous. It's annoying. They treat me like a criminal. I am a middle aged, tax paying, law abiding citizen. I am NOT a terrorist!

A few years ago a clerk at some airline I don't remember gave me a form from some governmental agency. With a knowing nod, she told me to fill this out and mail it to DC and it would take care of all of my problems. Silly bitch. Was she ever misinformed.

I filled out the form, had THREE forms of ID notarized and sent it in. Even though my Title Rep, Rita, explained to me that a signature gets notarized, not a document. So I wrote 'this is a true and exact copy of the original' on each copy and signed it. Rita notarized all three of them and I dutifully sent it all to DC.

After many weeks (this is the Federal Government we are talking about, remember?) I got a letter back that basically said 'we got your stuff and you are still on the list' WTF? That was a total waste of time, notary ink and a stamp. Sheesh. Apparently once you are on this dreaded list, you are on it for life.

Northwest is the only airline that doesn't hassle me. I am a frequent flier with them - not that twice a year is frequent, but I digress. They will let me print my boarding pass at home and treat me like a non-criminal. I used to think being a frequent flier was the magic bullet. Not so. Southwest still treats me like dirt and I'm a card carrying member of their group. Last time I flew Southwest I tried to check in at the computer using my credit card. It wouldn't let me do it and told me to see an agent. I tried to explain this to the agent and she ripped my Visa out of my hand and swiped it into the machine before I could finish my sentence. Like I'm so damned stupid I didn't already try that. Then when it didn't work she sighed and said I was supposed to wait in THAT line, but she would help me anyway. Bee-otch.

There has got to be a better way to keep our country safe than to hassle law-abiding citizens. Okay, I have had a couple of speeding tickets, but that doesn't make me a terrorist.

Phew!

I am happy to report that I'm going to around for a while longer. I had my further tests this morning and the doc assured me that my symptoms were "totally normal". I'm just glad I didn't have to wait until next week to find out. Thanks for all of the kind words given to me in the past week. I kept saying "I'm going to be fine" and I am. Thank God.

Don't Try This at Home....

You know when they do wacky and dangerous stuff on TV they always say "Don't try this at home". Well, here's a new one for you.

If you find something weird or different about your body just before bed, leave it alone. When you wake up at 1:30 and cannot sleep DO NOT fire up your computer and go to the online Merck Manual or google your symptoms. The reason I know not to do this is that one night last week I was convinced I had cancer. Suffice to say I stayed up all night wondering about things like how chemotherapy REALLY works, what I might look like bald and what the hell my hair would look like when it grew back. Not exactly sleep-inducing thoughts.

I called my doctor the next morning and got an appointment with her Physician's Assistant, Barbara, who is great. I sheepishly told Barbara what I did and she said "Stay off the internet, you'll scare the crap out of yourself". Yeah, no shit, Barb, too late!

Barbara sent me for more tests and I'm certain I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, but save yourself, if you must look at your symptoms on the internet, do it first thing in the morning.

Flip Flop Nation, part II

Well, after my previous rant, Wa and I went to a salon today and I got a pedicure. She got a manicure. It wasn't as bad as I thought, not as ticklish, but somewhat so. I have an aversion to being tickled, probably because when I was a kid my sisters thought it was great fun to tickle me until I wet my pants. Ugh, what torture. Beans and KA, I forgive you and love you both.

While I was having my feet done I looked two chairs down and saw this woman with the most hideous feet, getting a pedicure. Her feet were 100 times nastier than the woman in my previous post. When we were done Wa and I went to the grocery store. I asked her if she saw that woman in the other chair's feet. She said "Mom, that was a man". I said "Nuh uh!" She said "Yeah, the adam's apple was a dead giveway". Sheesh, I thought she was just a old hippy with nasty feet. Wa says, nope. Honestly, from the angle I was sitting I didn't get a good look at her. Wa did. She said she would look at me and think "Mom", then look over and think "Tranny". It was SO funny.

So now with bubble gum pink toes and a new outlook on pedicures, I will go again. My feet aren't cute, but better than passable.

Teen Speak

I was recently told I am too old to use teen speak. I don’t know what else to call the lingo that young people use today. I think I used the word “hella” in a sentence. Hella is a great word, which Laura contends is “NorCal”. I don’t think it is, as the first time I heard the word was on South Park, which is set in Colorado. I think a lot of people use the word. Just ask Eric Cartman….. (use Cartman voice here) “hella, hella, hella”. It cracks me up. Yeah, I know I’m juvenile. There are worse things I could be than juvenile.

I am interested in words and communication, therefore teen speak amuses me. A few months ago, I invited Laura’s then-boyfriend to dinner, where I was making lasagna. He replied “Dude, that shit’s hella bomb”. I knew that in adult speak that meant, “Laura, your mom makes great lasagna”. The funny thing is, I knew exactly what he meant and was complimented rather than offended. I mean, he technically did call my dinner “shit”. It was funny.

Laura and her friends preface just about every comment with “Dude!”. I’m probably too old to use “dude”, too.

I guess I’m just old. Hella old.

Flip Flop Nation

We have turned into a flip flop wearing country. When did this happen? When I was a kid we called them “beach walkers”, meaning, they were beach wear. My Dad called them “go aheads” because he contended (and still does) you cannot walk backwards in them. Anyway, they were pool or beach wear.

Nowadays, people seem to think it’s okay to wear them everywhere. Church, a funeral, the White House, for crying out loud. In 2005 Northwestern University’s champion lacrosse team was invited to the White House. These young women were photographed with President Bush and most of them were wearing flip flops. C’mon people, have some respect. Okay, I know a lot of people have no respect for W, but have some respect for the office and the building.

When I was in high school, there was a popular flip flop that was Japanese-style. The top part looked like a tatami mat and the straps and trim were of a velvet like material. Popular colors for the trim were navy and burgundy. I’m ashamed to say we called them “Jap Flaps”. In my defense, it was the 70s and we were not so PC as we are now, and even my Japanese-American friends called them that.

I think flip flops should stay with kids and teenagers or at the beach or pool. Some people should just not be allowed to wear them (or any sandal) in public. I have seen some gnarly feet in sandals and I think it’s gross. Jagged, long, dirty nails – cracked, dirty heels. Get a pedicure – try some pumice. Put some shoes on for God’s sake. Who the hell wants to look at that?

Maybe I am not one to throw stones. Laura is appalled that I have never had a pedicure. I just don’t like anyone touching my feet. I used to think my feet were ugly, but I guess they are passable. They are clean, don’t smell and I pumice and clip my nails. God, I can’t believe I’m writing about this.

I saw a woman last week in flip flops. She was well dressed and had taken the time and expense to have a pedicure. But, GOD she had the ugliest feet. Here were her perfectly painted nails in fire engine red on these gnarly, misshapen, ugly feet. The red polish was screaming "look at me!" Maybe a subtle pink would've been better.

Please, America. Put some shoes on.

Everyone loves Lucy

In my adult life I've had big dogs. A 125 lb German Shepherd, Lancer, was my guardian and a great all around dog. Yeah, he was a little weird. He was a police dog school dropout. He got a little weird - a bit over protective of me. Like the time the UPS guy came and Lancer went nuts and bit the tires on the truck. The poor driver was honking the horn in the driveway saying 'lady, get this crazy dog away from me'. Lancer was an imposing dog. He was big and scary looking to outsiders, but to me he was a pussycat. He was my protector in many ways, which I won't go into here. I loved that dog. He died when I was pregnant with Kristen and I was heartbroken.
Olsen was a black lab - another great dog. My first husband got him when we were dating. He was a great dog with the girls when they were little. Not very protective, but safe to have around little ones, which Lancer probably would not have been. Olsen would lay on his back on the floor and toddler Kristen would lay on him and hug him around the neck. Olsen tolerated her toddler self with humor and was a great companion.
Flash forward 15 or so years. I have been dog-less by choice. Living in a condo and Pat and I had pretty much decided we were okay without a dog. Circumstances led us to start thinking about a dog and doing some research into what type of dog we might get. Kristen, Laura and I were watching a dog show and looking at different breeds. I wanted a small dog, but not a hairy one. We liked the look of the Boston Terrier. I did some research and figured this would be a good condo dog. Were we ever right!
I found a pure bred Boston who was bred to be a show dog, but she was for sale as a pet because she would be too big to show. Laura and I went to look at her on a Sunday. Wa fell in love and kept telling me 'Mom, write the lady a check, I'm not leaving here without this dog'. I did and Laura was right. Lucy is the best dog ever. We all love her so much. She is a great combination of mellow and playful. She is sweet and loving - always happy to see us. When she gets a little condo-bound we take her over to my folks' house and she runs around the yard. If we happen to go out of town and take her with us, my folks are disappointed. They love having their Grand dog with them. She is the best dog ever. This little 20 lb dynamo is truly the best dog. Princess Lucy Rose, we love you!

What happened?

What the hell happened to my body? I guess I have officially hit middle age. Greaaat. When I was younger and sporting a 25 inch waist, my Mom told me when I got to my 40's I'd get 'thick in the middle'. Mom said she never had a small waist, but it just got bigger when middle age set in. I didn't believe her. Stupid girl.
I can deal with the white hair. I found my first one when I turned 21 and my Dad got white early, so that's something I can hang with. Now at 25 to 30% white, my daughter Laura is telling me to let it go. I told her maybe when I'm 50 or become a Grandma. No hurry, Laura or Kristen!
The waist is something else. I've gone back to the gym after being sporadic for a long while. It can't possibly be the wine consumption or the kick ass gourmet meals I make, right?
Mom was right. I'm just getting older. Kicking and screaming all the way.
PS. Mom, at 81, looks great. I hope I look half as good as her when I'm an octogenarian.
PPS. My Mom is always right. I hope I'm half as smart and cool as her when I'm an octogenarian.

Stupid inventions

There have been a lot of dumb things invented over the years. Take the visor. What is that? A hat that's not a hat? You want to shield your face from the sun - so wear a hat. Visors are stupid. You put it on to get the sun out of your face, you still have 'hat hair' and your part gets sunburned. Or if you're a guy who's follically challenged, your monkey butt gets burned. Great invention. Not.

What the heck!

I decided I might want to start a blog, then figured, who the heck would want to read it? Then I figured, who the heck cares? Sometimes I want to rant about something, contemplate or just write. So here goes. If you want to read my musings, great. If not, that's great, too. Now what? I guess I'll figure it out.